Esther: A Female Savior Figure

   Throughout the Hebrew Scriptures, most of the major characters are men who have responded to God and were rewarded for their efforts.  The Book of Esther presents us with the story of a woman who can actually be understood as a “savior” of her people.  This story takes place after the Babylonian exile in 586 BC when King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon destroyed the Temple in Jerusalem and exiled all of the residents of the southern kingdom to Babylon. 

   It takes place during the reign of King Ahasuerus who sat on the throne in the citadel of Susa and reined over one hundred and twenty seven provinces from India to Ethiopia.  In the third year of his reign he gave a banquet for all his officers and ministers.  The army of Persia and Media and the nobles and governors of the provinces were all present.  This banquet lasted for one hundred and eighty days.  While the king gave a banquet for the officers and ministers, Queen Vashti gave a banquet for the women.

  On the seventh day of his banquet, King Ahasuerus, in the presence of his officers, asked one of the seven eunuchs who attended him to bring Queen Vashti before him; however, she refused to appear before the king. 

  The king was enraged and asked his officers, who knew the laws, what should be done about this.  The nobles were concerned that if the women of the kingdom found out that the queen had disobeyed the king’s order this would lead to women throughout the kingdom disobeying their husbands, so, in order to maintain proper order throughout the kingdom, they said to the king that he should take the crown from Queen Vashti and give it to another woman who is more worthy.  The king was pleased with their advice and ordered that Vashti is never again to appear before the king and her crown is to taken away.

   After the king’s anger had abated, his servants came to him and said, “Let beautiful young virgins be sought for the king.  Let the king appoint commissioners in all the provinces of his kingdom to gather all the young women to the harem of the citadel of Susa under the custody of Hegai, the chief eunuch, who was in charge of the women; let their cosmetic treatments be given them. Let the girl who pleases the king be queen instead of Vashti.”  This pleased the king and he did so.

   In the citadel was a Jewish man named Mordecai, a Benjaminite, whose great-grandfather, Kish, had been exiled as part of the deportation ordered by King Nebuchadnezzar.  Mordecai had a cousin named Hadassah, also known as Esther, who had been orphaned as a child and adopted by him.  When the king’s order was proclaimed throughout the citadel, Esther was taken, along with the other young women, to the palace and turned over to Hagai.  Esther pleased Hagai and he provided her with cosmetic treatments and her portion of food, and with seven chosen maids from the palace.  Mordecai had told her not to reveal to anyone that she was Jewish, so she told no one.  Since Mordecai was not given access to the palace, he would walk around in front of the court of the harem to find out how she was doing.

   After being part of the haram for one year, each girl had an opportunity to appear before the king.  They had six months of cosmetic treatments and perfumes and six months of treatments with oil of myrrh, as was their custom.  When the girls appeared before the king they were given what they asked for to take from the harem.  In the evening she would go in; then in the morning she would come back to the second harem.  They did not go back to see the king again unless he delighted in one of them and she was summoned by name.

   When Esther’s turn came to appear before the king she asked for nothing except what Hagai had advised.  The king loved Esther more than all other women; of all the virgins she won his favor and devotion, so that he set the crown on her head and made her his queen.  Then the king gave a banquet for all his officials—“Esther’s banquet”.  He also granted a holiday to the provinces, and gave gifts in honor of his new queen.

   One day while Mordecai was sitting at the king’s gate to hear news about Esther, he overheard a plot by two of the king’s eunuchs, Bigthan and Teresh, who had become angry and were plotting to assassinate the king.  Mordecai told Esther of this plot and she, in turn, told the king.  When it was determined that the plot was genuine, the two eunuchs were hanged on the gallows.

   After all these things had transpired, the king promoted Haman the Agagite and set him above all of his officials.  The king’s servants each appeared before Haman and bowed before him as a sign of reverence.  Mordecai would not bow down before Haman, so the servants asked him, “Why did you not bow down and disobey the king’s command?”  They appeared before Mordecai day after day, but he gave no reason for not bowing down before Haman.  The servants went to see Haman and told him that they spoke to Mordecai, but he gave no answer.  They also told Haman that Mordecai was Jewish.  Haman would not lay hands on Mordecai alone, but, instead, decided to destroy all the Jews throughout the whole kingdom because Mordecai would not bow down before him.

   In the first month, which is the month of Nisan, in the twelfth year of the king’s reign, they cast Pur—which means “the lot”—before Haman for the day and for the month, and the lot fell on the thirteenth day of the twelfth month, which is the month of Adar.  Haman said to the king, “There is group of people scattered and separated among the peoples in all the provinces of your kingdom; their laws are different from those of every other people, and they do not keep the king’s laws, so that it is not appropriate for the king to tolerate them.” (Esther 3:8)  He continued, “If it pleases the king, let a decree be issued for their destruction, and I will pay ten thousand talents of silver into the hands of those who have charge of the king’s business, so that they may put it into the king’s treasury.”  The king told Haman that the money would be given to him and he gave his signet ring to Haman so the decree may be issued.

   On the thirteenth day of the first month, an edict was written to all the king’s governors throughout the kingdom.  It was written in the name of the king and seal with his signet ring.  Orders were given to kill, destroy, and annihilate all Jews, young and old, in one day, the thirteenth day of the twelfth month, the month of Adar, and to plunder their goods. The couriers posted this message throughout the citadel of Susa and brought it to every province throughout the kingdom. 

   When Mordecai learned what had been done, he tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and ashes, and went through the city wailing loudly.  When Esther’s maids told her about Mordecai, she was deeply distressed and she had garments sent to him so that he would remove his sackcloth, but he refused.  She then ordered Hathach, one of the king’s eunuchs, to go to Mordecai and find out what has happened and why.  Mordecai told him all that had happened and the exact sum of money that Haman had agreed to pay for the destruction of the Jews.  He gave a copy of the decree to Hathach and told him to give it to Queen Esther. 

After hearing all that Mordecai had said to Hathach, Queen Esther sent a message to Mordecai saying, “All the king’s servants and the people of the kingdom know that if any man or woman appears before the king without being called, there is but one law—all alike are to be put to death. Only if the king holds out the golden scepter to someone, may that person live, and I myself have not been called to appear before the king for the past thirty days.”  Mordecai then told them to reply to Esther, “Do not think that in the king’s palace you will escape any more than any of the other Jews.  For if you keep silence at such a time as this, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another quarter, but you and your father’s family will perish.  Who knows?  Perhaps you have come to royal dignity for such a time as this.”  Esther responded that all the Jews of Susa should fast on her behalf for three days and nights.  She and her maids would also fast.  “After that I will go to the king, though it is against the law; and if I perish, I perish.”  Then Mordecai did everything that Queen Esther had ordered.

   After the fast, Esther put on her royal robes and stood in the inner court of the king’s palace.  As soon as the king saw her, he held out his golden scepter.  She approached the king and said, “If it pleases the king, let the king and Haman come today to a banquet that I have prepared for you.”  The king and Haman came to the banquet.  While they were drinking wine, Esther petitioned the king.  He said, “What is it that you ask? I will give it to you, even up to half my kingdom.” She said, “If I have found favor with the king, let the king and Haman return tomorrow to the banquet that I have prepared.”

    Haman left the banquet happy and in good spirits. Haman called his friends and his wife, Zeresh, and he recounted to them the splendor of his riches, the number of his sons, all the promotions he had received from the king, and how the king had advanced him above the officials and ministers of the king.  Haman said, “Even Queen Esther let no one but myself come with the king to the banquet that was prepared. Tomorrow also I am invited by her, together with the king. Yet all this does me no good so long as I see the Jew Mordecai sitting at the king’s gate.”  Then his wife, Zeresh, and his friends said, “Let a gallows fifty cubits high be made, and in the morning tell the king to have Mordecai hanged on it, then go with the king to the banquet in good spirits.”  This advice pleased Haman and he had the gallows built. (Esther 5:12-14)

   That night the king could not sleep, and he gave orders to bring the book of records and they were read to the king.  It was written how Mordecai had told about the plot of Bigthan and Teresh, who had plotted to assassinate the king.  Then the king asked, “What honor or distinction has been bestowed on Mordecai for this?” The servants said that nothing had been done for him.  The king asked, “Who is in the court?”  They replied that Haman was present, so the king sent for Haman.  The king asked Haman, “What shall be done for the man whom the king wishes to honor?”  Haman said, “For the man whom the king wishes to honor, let royal robes be brought, which the king has worn, and a horse which the king has ridden, with a royal crown on its head.  Let the robes and horse be handed over to one of the king’s officials and let him robe the man whom the king wishes to honor.”  Then the king said to Haman, “Quickly, take the robes and the horse, as you have said, and do so to the Jew Mordecai who sits in the king’s gate.  Leave out nothing that you have mentioned.”  So Haman took the robes and the horse and robed Mordecai and led him riding through the open square of the city, proclaiming, “Thus shall it be done for the man whom the king wishes to honor.”   

    Haman returned home and told his wife and friends everything that had happened.  They said to him, “If Mordecai, before whom your downfall has begun, is of the Jewish people, you will not prevail against him, but will surely fall before him.”  While they were still talking the king’s eunuchs arrived and hurried Haman off to the banquet.

    The queen again petitioned the king. He said that he would give her whatever she asked, even up to half his kingdom.  She asked that her life and the lives of her people be spared.  The king asked who it was that had ordered that her life and the lives of her people be taken.  She said, “A foe and enemy, this wicked Haman!”  Then Haman was terrified before the king and queen.  The king left the banquet and went to the palace garden to regain his composure.  Haman begged Queen Esther for his life and threw himself on to the couch where she was reclining.  When the king returned, he found Haman on the couch and said, “Will he even assault the queen in my presence, in my own house?”  Harbona, one of the king’s eunuchs said, “Look the very gallows that Haman has prepared for Mordecai, whose words saved the king, stand at Haman’s house, and fifty cubits high.”  The king said, “Hang him on that!”  So they hanged Haman on the gallows that he had prepared for Mordecai.  Then the anger of the king abated.

   The king gave the house of Haman to Queen Esther, and Mordecai came before the king. Then the king took off his signet ring and gave it to Mordecai.  So Esther set Mordecai over the house of Haman.  Then Esther spoke to the king. She fell at his feet, weeping and pleading with him to avert the evil design of Haman and the plot that he had devised against the Jews.  The king held out his golden scepter to Esther, and Esther rose and stood before the king.  She said, “If it pleases the king, let an order be written to revoke the letter devised by Haman, which he wrote giving orders to destroy the Jews who are in all the provinces of the king. For how can I bear to see the calamity that is coming on my people? The king then said that Esther could write as she pleased, in the name of the king, with regard to the Jews.  For an edict written in the name of the king and sealed with his signet cannot be revoked.

   The king’s secretaries were summoned on that day, the twenty-third day of the third month, the month of Sivan, and an edict was written according to all that Mordecai commanded, to the Jews and the governors of the provinces from India to Ethiopia.  This edict allowed the Jews in every province to defend their lives, to destroy, to kill, and to annihilate any armed force that might attack them, with their children and women, and to plunder their goods on a single day throughout all the provinces, namely the thirteenth day of the twelfth month, the month of Adar.  The decree was issued in the citadel of Susa and proclaimed throughout all the provinces.

   Then Mordecai went out from the king’s presence wearing his royal robes, while the people of the city shouted and rejoiced.  For the Jews there was light and gladness, joy and honor.   Throughout all the provinces there were Jewish festivals and a holiday.  Also, many people professed to be Jews, because the fear of the Jews had fallen upon them.

   On the thirteenth day of the twelfth month, the Jews gathered throughout all the provinces to lay hands on those who would destroy them.  All the governors of the provinces were supporting the Jews, because they feared Mordecai.  The Jews struck down all their enemies with the sword, and did as they pleased to those who hated them.  In the citadel of Susa they killed five hundred people.  They killed the ten sons of Haman, but did not plunder. The Jews of Susa gathered on the fourteenth day and killed three hundred persons in Susa. 

   Other Jews in the various provinces gathered to defend their lives and they killed seventy-five thousand of those who hated them, but did not plunder.  This was on the thirteenth day, but on the fourteenth day they rested and made that day a day of festival and gladness.

   The Jews in Susa gathered on the thirteenth day and on the fourteenth, and rested on the fifteenth, making that a day of feasting and gladness. Therefore, the Jews of the villages, and in the open towns, hold the fourteenth day of Adar as a day of gladness and feasting, a holiday on which they send gifts of good to one another.

     Mordecai recorded these things and sent letters to all the Jews who were in all the provinces of King Ahasuerus both near and far, enjoining them that they should keep the fourteenth and fifteenth day of Adar, each year, as the days on which the Jews gained relief from their enemies, and as the month that had been turned for them from sorrow into gladness and from mourning into a holiday; that they should make them days of feasting and gladness, days for sending gifts of food to one another and presents to the poor.  So the Jews adopted as a custom what they had begun to do, as Mordecai had written to them.

   Haman, the enemy of the Jews, had plotted against the Jews to destroy them, and had cast Pur—that is “the lot”—to crush and destroy them; but when Esther came before the king, he gave orders in writing that the wicked plot he devised against the Jewish should come upon his own head, and that he should be hanged on the gallows which he built in order to have Mordecai executed. Therefore, these days are called Purim, from the word Pur.

   Queen Esther gave full written authority, confirming a second letter about Purim.  Letters were sent wishing peace and security to all the Jews in the one hundred and twenty-seven provinces of King Ahasuerus.  The command of Esther fixed these practices of Purim and it was recorded in writing.

   The king put Mordecai in a position of power where he was second only to the king throughout the provinces.  Mordecai was both powerful among the Jewish people and popular because he sought the good of his people and interceded for the welfare of his descendants. 

    Each year the story of Queen Esther is read in synagogues throughout the world on the Feast of Purim.  When the name of Haman is mentioned all the people are to let out a hissing noise since he was the enemy of the Jews. 

    There is no reason given why Haman hated the Jews.  In seems like a major overreaction on his part that he would ask the king for a decree to destroy all the Jews in one day simply because Mordecai would not bow down before him and pay him tribute.  

    Initially Mordecai was concerned that Esther’s fate would not go well if the king found out that she was Jewish; however, the story gives no indication that King Ahasuerus was opposed to the Jewish people.  In fact, the contrary is actually true. 

   The king does not come across as the brightest of monarchs.  He divorces his first wife simply because his advisors suggest it, he holds what it almost tantamount to a beauty contest throughout his kingdom to determine who his next wife will be, he gives orders to Haman to write a decree that all the Jews throughout his kingdom should be killed simply because Haman tells him that the Jewish people follow their own law and do not follow the laws of the king.  There is no indication that the king ever attempts to verify this, but simply accepts Haman’s word for it.

   Then, when Queen Esther tells him that she and her people will be destroyed, he asks, “Who gave such an order?”  The reader should want to cry out at this point, “You did, you fool!”  The king has a very quick temper and acts without thinking.  These are not good leadership qualities.

   Unlike the king, Esther fasts for three days before approaching the king.   Initially she is scared because anyone who approaches the king without be summoned is supposed to be executed; however, she takes Mordecai’s words to heart, “Who knows?  Perhaps you have come to royal dignity for such a time as this” and states, “If I perish, I perish” before approaching the king. 

   Using her influence as queen and given the fact that the king was charmed by her, Esther was in a position to be able to save the lives of her people and prevent the first holocaust of the Jews from the taking place.  She truly was a savior figure for the Jewish people and a great role model for women.

Encountering God

   How one relates to God depends largely upon their image of who God is.  Since we cannot truly know as He is, it is necessary for us to use allegory and images in order to develop an understanding of God.  God as Judge, God as Shepherd, God as Father, God as Lawgiver, are among the more popular images that people have of God.  Some view God as a grandfatherly figure with white hair and a long white beard sitting on a throne in the clouds.

   Since childhood, God has played a major role in my life.  I have always felt was Jewish theologians would refer to as the Shekinah (the Divine Presence), even though I was never able to put it into words.  At the age of ten or so I felt a call to become a cantor, the chief liturgist and singer in the synagogue. I was raised in a Conservative synagogue on Long Island and after five years of Hebrew school and five years of religious education, I was bar mitzvahed in 1978.  The call to becoming a cantor would qualify as my first encounter with God.

    Over time my connection to Judaism waned and I began to turn to elsewhere for that same feeling which I experienced when I encountered God as a child. Initially I turned to philosophy; however, I found Aristotle’s notion of God as “the unmoved mover” to be completely contrary to what I had been raised to believe and it did not appeal to me.  I could not make the connection between the God who spoke to Moses in the burning bush and Aristotle’s unmoved mover.

    As a result I started drifting away from religion completely.  While I loved the liturgy in the synagogue, particularly the High Holy Day liturgies, my parents did not raise my sister or me with deep sense of faith.  God was almost never spoken of at home (unless I brought the subject up), there was no prayer life in our household, and after my bar mitzvah my parents decided to stop paying their dues since most of the money went for religious education, so we no longer had a synagogue which we belonged to.

   Throughout my teenage years and into my early twenties, I had a sense that God was still with me; however, I would never have been able to put that sense into words.  In my mid-twenties I realized that I needed to reconnect to religion and began looking around to see where I would feel comfortable.  I tried returning to the synagogue which I had earlier been a member of; however, so much time had gone by that I no longer knew anyone there and no longer felt at home.  Most of the guys I had been in Hebrew school with had left the synagogue years earlier and even their parents were no longer there.

    I had been working very long hours five days a week and my doctor told me, “If you are trying to give yourself a heart attack, you are doing a good job!”  Therefore, I decided to cut back on my hours and one night while I was watching television I came across the Eternal Word Television Network.   I watched a show in which they were talking about the importance of developing a relationship with God and how He has made us to know Him, love Him, and serve in this life and be happy with Him forever in the next.  This idea appealed to me. I would certainly see this as a Divine encounter, even though it took place through a television show since my heart was moved by what I had heard. 

    My next major encounter with God took place on August 15, 1990.  I remember the exact date and circumstances like it took place yesterday.  My parents had received a call that my sister had gone into labor.  My mother and I went to the local hospital to be there for her and my brother-in-law.  We were up all night and I had plenty of time to think.  As I sat there in the waiting room a quote from St. Augustine which I had heard a day or so earlier on television kept playing over and over again in my mind.  “You have made us for Yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in Thee.”  Around six in the morning on August 16^th my sister still had not given birth, so I informed my mother I was going to go home, get changed, and come back.  Instead of taking the most direct route home, I was inspired to go “the long way” and ended up passing by St. Brigid’s parish in Westbury, NY.  This was the closest Catholic Church to my home and after what I had heard on that television show on EWTN I thought it was time to see for myself what go on in a Catholic parish.  I stopped into the parish about five minutes before Mass was about to start.  I remember sitting in the pew and saying, “Jesus, I have heard so many things about you.  If only half of them are true, I will do anything you ask of me, even if it kills me.”  I got up and left the parish before Mass began and I felt wonderful.  Then it hit me, “Who can I tell?”  My Jewish parents would not be pleased by my encounter with God in a Catholic Church.  I was forced to keep this incredible encounter with God a secret. 

    I went home, got changed, and returned to the hospital about an hour before my sister gave birth to my oldest niece.  At this point my father had also arrived, so the entire family was there to celebrate her arrival with my sister and brother-in-law.  This was a very special day for my sister, but it had also been a special day for me.  I felt like going to the roof of the hospital and shouting, “I gave my life to Jesus and I feel wonderful”, but I could not say anything.  This was very challenging and painful. 

    I returned to St. Brigid’s parish to speaker to the pastor about what was involved in becoming a Catholic.  He spoke to me about the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults (RCIA) and invited me to attend a “Rock Mass” which apparently was popular with some of the younger people in the parish. I attended the Mass, but had a difficult time with the idea of the liturgy being set to rock and roll music.  As a result I was not inspired to attend that parish.  Instead, I went to the neighboring parish, Our Lady of Hope, where I met with the pastor on August 27^th.  He invited me to attend Mass as soon as possible, so I returned the next morning and heard about St. Augustine of Hippo.  In fact, the pastor, Fr. Frank, actually used the same quote which had been in my head all through the night of August 15/16. 

    Even though I could not receive Communion, I attended Mass every morning and every Sunday.  I began the RCIA in September and was ready to be baptized by the following March.  My sister was present at the 1991 Easter Vigil when I was baptized; however, my parents did not come.  In fact, when I finally told my parents that I was going through the RCIA it did not go well.  My father got very annoyed and told me how disappointed he was that I had thrown away my Jewish heritage and that he did not want any mention of Jesus in his home.

   While in the RCIA I began to feel that God might be calling me to religious life. I started investigating various communities; however, as expected, none would consider me because I had not been baptized and needed to be in the Church long enough. 

    I became a member of Our Lady of Hope parish and an active member of the parish Right to Life committee.  I began reading the lives of various saints and others who have had an impact on the Church. As I read the life of a particular saint I thought that perhaps God was calling me to the order he founded so I would write to that order for information. I was deeply moved by the life of St. Ignatius Loyola. 

     A priest I knew at St. Brigid’s parish introduced me to the writings of Thomas Merton. I purchased a copy of The Seven Story Mountain and once I started reading it I was hooked.  I was inspired by Merton’s conversion story and his desire to want to serve God as a Trappist monk.  I decided to write to Holy Trinity Abbey, a Trappist monastery in Utah, in 1993 for some information and they invited me out for a visit.  I took AMTRAK to Salt Lake City in March 1993 and spent a month with the community.  After my return home I received word that they had accepted me into the formation program.

    I left home and my career as a life insurance agent, and travelled to Utah in June to begin my formation.  Coming from suburban New York City and ending up on a 3,000 acre farm at the base of the Rocky Mountains was quite a transition for me.  In addition, there is a great deal of silence, no television, and the community rises every morning at 3:15am for Matins (Office of Readings). I went from selling life insurance in New York City to wrapping loaves of freshly baked bread which the monks sold daily in the abbey gift shop. 

    While I loved the monastic life and I found that cloistered life was a bit too much for me.  In July 1994 I left Utah and returned to Long Island to live with my sister while I determined where God was calling me next.  In mid-August I received a call from a friend of mine who is a Benedictine monk at St. Benedict’s Abbey in Atchison, KS (about 80 miles north of Kansas City).  He encouraged me to come out to Kansas for a visit.  I spoke to my godparents and they told me that they would pay for my airline ticket to Kansas City.  I arrived there on September 7^th and became a novice on January 30, 1995. 

    The novitiate is designed to last one year and one day; however, four days before Christmas 1995 I was informed by the abbot that things were not working out as he had hoped and I was asked to leave.  I returned to Newark, NJ (my sister was living in the Poconos at this point) and was picked up at the airport by my sister during the blizzard of 1995.

    I had graduated high school in 1983, had gone to college for two years; however, I never graduated.  With all this free time on my hands now, I decided to pursue my college education once again.  Since I had no car, I would borrow my sister’s car to go to the local parish, St. Vincent de Paul, in Dingman Hills, PA.  The pastor, Msgr. Ward, was very supportive and he agreed to drive me to Scranton to check out the university and begin the application process.  I arrived at the University of Scranton in the Fall of 1996, a 31 year old Freshman living in a converted YMCA (known as Leahy Hall).

    My initial college experience did not go particularly well, so I did not hold out much hope that this would go any better.  However, by the end of my first semester I had made the Dean’s List and repeated that accomplishment the following semester.  In addition to my studies, I also volunteered to tutor other students in Philosophy and Theology (my two majors).  Looking back I can see that my time at the University of Scranton was another encounter with God.  

    I felt a sense of belonging there. I had a wonderfully supportive spiritual director, Father Royden Davis, S.J., and even became active in Campus Ministry as a member of the choir.  This was my first experience of Catholic education and I blossomed in it. 

    While there I began to feel that God was calling me back to monastic life. I had given religious life two tries and believed that it was not for me.  I spoke to Father Royden and he encouraged me to be open to the call I believed I was experiencing. A friend of mine informed me about St. Mary’s Abbey, a Benedictine monastery in Morristown, NJ, which owns and operates a boys’ college prep school. 

    My friend, Tom, drove me from Scranton to Morristown and I met with the vocation director, Brother Christopher, who was very supportive.  I applied for admission to St. Mary’s Abbey and received word that I should arrive on August 28, 2000 to begin my formation process.  In the meantime, I graduated from college on Memorial Day weekend 2000 and my entire family was there to see me receive my diploma.  I am only the second person in my immediate family to ever graduate from college and it made my parents very happy that I had accomplished this goal after being away from school for so many years.

    I arrived at St. Mary’s in August and after six months as a postulant became a novice on March 20, 2001.  One year and one day later I professed my simple (three year) vows in the presence of the community on March 21, 2002 (the Solemnity of St. Benedict).  After professing my simple vows I was assigned to serve as assistant manager of the Delbarton School bookstore and teach in the Religion department. 

    After teaching for two years, I was sent to the Saint Meinrad School of Theology in St. Meinrad, IN to study for the priesthood.  I arrived at Saint Meinrad Archabbey in the Fall of 2004 and from the first day I felt like I belonged there.  I spent the next four years at Saint Meinrad and was ordained to the priesthood in the Abbey Church in Morristown, NJ on April 12, 2008. I graduated from seminary the following month.

    After my ordination I was assigned to serve as a weekend associate at a parish in the Archdiocese of Newark and returned to Delbarton School to teach in the Religion department. I taught “Introduction to the Pentateuch” to our freshmen and the “Senior Ethics Seminar” where I introduced our students to the subject of Medical Ethics.   Being able to function as a priest and minister to the needs of the parishioners as well as teacher our students were certainly ways that I was able to encounter God which I could not do before my ordination.

    Before graduating from seminary, I applied for a doctorate program in Medical Ethics at Duquesne University in Pittsburgh, PA and was accepted.  After teaching for one year at Delbarton I left the monastery again and lived at St. Paul of the Cross, a Passionist monastery, on the south side of Pittsburgh, while attending class at Duquesne.  I had no weekend assignment there, but would frequently celebrate Sunday Mass for the Pittsburgh chapter of the Catholic Medical Association and then attend their breakfast meeting.  This experience gave me an opportunity to address some of the issues we had been studying in class with practicing physicians and they had also agreed to review my writings which I had been posting at http://www.lifeissues.net/ on various topics in medical ethics.

    While I was in Pittsburgh I was invited to spend time at Saint Vincent Archabbey in Latrobe, PA (about one hour from Pittsburgh) in order to reconnect with a Benedictine community.  Saint Vincent founded St. Mary’s Abbey in 1857.  This opportunity gave me a chance to get to know those monks as well as allowed me to do research in their college library. Spending time with the monks from Saint Vincent was a very positive experience.

    Another way that I have encountered God is through my writings.  My writing not only gives me the opportunity to do research and explore various topics of interest, but has given me an opportunity to reach out to others through my writing.  Writing and publishing my homilies has led to more than one encounter with God as put the homily together.

    My prayer life is rather simple.  The psalms have always been a major source of inspiration for me.  They express the entire realm of human emotions and often allow me to express what I am feeling even when I cannot put it into words. Being raised in a Jewish family, the psalms have meant quite a bit to me long before I entered monastic life.  Recently I was told by a friend that “You are the most Jewish Catholic priest I know.”  Much of my own personal spirituality is a compilation of Jewish and Catholic tradition. 

   Over the past twenty years I have shared my conversion story with a number of people.  I was much more open to sharing my story after I first became Catholic; however, after I entered religious life that changed. The feeling I got was that my conversion was more a source of contention for many “professional religious” that I knew instead of a source of inspiration.  As a result, I rarely ever tell my story anymore.

   My hope is that my conversion story will have a beneficial impact on my readers.  I did not become a Catholic in order to give glory to myself by telling my story.  I had a profound encounter with God and responded to His invitation. The past twenty years has been quite an experience.  Three different religious communities, return to college, ordination, and graduate school.

    Each one of us is encountered by God at different times in our lives.  Often he speaks to us in our dreams because it is then that our defenses are down and we are more open to listening to Him.  While none of us may have a “burning bush” experience similar to Moses, the truth is that God is speaking to us at various times throughout our day and throughout our life.  Saying “yes” to God may involve going places and doing things that you had never even thought of doing; however, these experiences can help to make us more loving, caring, and open to the needs of others.  It is not always easy to say “yes” to God, but the benefit is certainly worth any amount of risk.

Consequences of a Vow

  

   Many of us, especially those of us who are either married or members of a religious community have taken a vow. A married couple makes a vow in the presence of others to live their lives together as husband and wife and eventually begin a family.  A religious professes a vow in the presence of his or her community to live his or her life in accordance with the rule which the community follows for the remainder of their natural life. The story of Jephthah in the Book of Judges (11:1-12:40) tells us about a different kind of vow. 

   Jephthah the Gileadite, the son of a prostitute, was a mighty warrior. Gilead was Jephthah’s father.  Gilead’s wife bore him a son and when his wife’s sons grew up they drove Jephthah away saying, “You shall not inherit anything in your father’s house; for you are the son of another woman.”  Then Jephthah felt from his brothers and lived in the land of Tob, a Syrian town.  Outlaws collected around Jephthah and went raiding with him. This son of a prostitute who was chased from his home by his half-brother has now become a mercenary. 

   After a while the Ammonites began waging war against Israel.  The men of Gilead went to Tob to see Jephthah and said, “Come and be our commander, so that we may fight with the Ammonites.”  Jephthah asked them, “Are you not the same ones who rejected me and drove me from my father’s house?  So why do you come to me now when you are in trouble?”  Jephthah could easily have told them, “Get lost!  You didn’t want to be bothered with me before, but now you need me so you come running back!”  Instead, he says, “If you bring me home to fight with the Ammonites and the Lord gives them over to me, I will be your head.”  He returned and became commander over them.

   Jephthah sent word to the king of the Ammonites, “What is there between you and me that you have come to me to fight against my land?”  The king sent messengers who told Jephthah, “Because Israel, on coming from Egypt, took my land from Arnon to the Jabbok, now therefore restore it peaceably.”   After their exile from Egypt, the Jewish people took land belonging to the Ammonites and now the king wants his land back.   That sounds reasonable to most of us!  However, Jephthah informs the king that he is mistaken and tells him that his people did not take the land belonging to the Ammonites, but were given land belonging to Sihon, king of the Amonites because he would not let them pass through his land on their way from Egypt.  He then says to the king that it is not he who has sinned against the Ammonites, but it is they who are wrong for making war against Jephthah and his people.  Not surprisingly, the king of the Ammonites did not accept this.

   The spirit of the Lord came upon Jephthah and he passed through Gilead and Manassah straight toward the Ammonites.  Jephthah then made a vow to the Lord saying, “If you give the Ammonites into my hands, then whoever comes out of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return victorious from the Ammonites, shall be the Lord’s to be offered up by me as a burnt offering.” So Jephthah crossed over to the Ammonites to fight against them; and the Lord gave them into his hands.  The Ammonites were subdued before the people of Israel. 

    Why did Jephthah make that vow?  It seems likely that he felt that he had something to prove to the people of Gilead since they had driven him away from their town and then returned begging him to be their commander, but where did that vow come from?  There is no precedence for such a vow anywhere in the Hebrew Scriptures.  Was he so unsure of God assistance that he needed to make such a bizarre agreement with God that he would offer “whoever” came out of the doors of his house first?  He does not say “whatever”, but whoever.  We could understand if he returned home and saw one his livestock and offered it to God in thanksgiving for his victory, but this would be a human sacrifice.  Such actions would not have been unknown to Jephthah since many of the people of the neighboring areas would have engaged in human sacrifice, but this was not done among the Jewish people.

   Jephthah came home to Mizpah; and there was his daughter coming out to meet him with timbrels and dancing.  She was his only child.  When he saw her, he tore his clothes, and said, “Alas, my daughter!  You have brought me very low; you have become the cause of great trouble for me.  For I have opened my mouth to the Lord, and I cannot take back my vow.”  She said to him, “Father, if you have opened your mouth to the Lord, do to me according to what has gone out from your mouth, now that the Lord has given you vengeance against your enemies, the Ammonites.” (Judges 11:36)  Then she said, “Let this thing be done for me: Grant me two months so that I may go and wander on the mountains, and bewail my virginity.”  He sent her, and her companions, away as she had requested. After two months, she returned to her father, and he did with her according to the vow he had made.  She had never slept with a man, so there arose in Israel the custom that for four days every year the daughters of Israel would go out to lament the daughter of Jephthah the Gileadite. 

   Jephthah did not anticipate the fact that his daughter would be the first person that he met?  Women normally went out to greet returning military heroes with songs and poems. We know of this from other examples, including Miriam (Exodus 15:20) and the women who praised King David (1 Samuel 18:6).  Deborah’s epic poem is an example of the type of song they sang. 

   His words to his daughter that she has become a source of great trouble for him almost give the impression that he is blaming her for this situation. Blaming the victim is a common phenomenon in cases of domestic violence. Often too a woman who has been raped is blamed for 'bringing it on herself' or 'asking for it’.     

   The daughter’s passivity regarding the acceptance of her fate with regard to the vow her father made is very unnerving for modern readers.  Why did she not protest?  The promise had to be honored, since it was a vow made to God.  She understood this and accepted it.

   But here's a thought: Is it possible she knew in advance about her father's vow, and deliberately come out of the house first, thus bringing the vow onto herself rather than on someone whom her father considered expendable, for example a servant? Could the girl have taken the place intended for someone else in order to show her father the terrible injustice of his action? ¹

   What about the daughter’s only request?  That she be given two months to spend in the mountains with her friends and bewail her virginity?  She preferred to spend the last days of her life with her friends, not with the father whose ambition and foolish vow would cause her death. In these last days of her life, she wanted the company of those she could trust. With them, she mourned the fact that she would never achieve the goal of all Jewish women: to hold her own child in her arms. ²

   The fact that the daughter remained nameless throughout the story is also significant.  She becomes a tangential character rather than one which the reader is inspired to relate to.  Other examples of this would be Samson’s mother (Judge 13:1-25), the wife of Potiphar (Gen. 39:1-23), and Jephthah’s own mother who is simply referred to as “a prostitute”. 

   Another question to be raised is: Why is there no condemnation of Jephthah for offering a human sacrifice?  This was not an acceptable practice in Israel.

   Jephthah is depicted in the entire chapter as a true follower of Yahweh (verse 9); he wages war on behalf of Yahweh, and calls upon Yahweh to judge between Israel and Ammon (verse 27); the spirit of Yahweh 'comes upon him (verse 29), and he makes his vow to Yahweh (verse 30). He is extolled as one of Yahweh's saviors in the Book of Samuel (1 Samuel 12:11), alongside Gideon, Bedan (possibly Barak or Samson), and Samuel himself.

   Is it likely, then, say the non-sacrificialists, that Jephthah, a true Yahwist, would have presented an offering which was anathema to Yahweh, and that this fact would not be commented on by the narrator?

   The usual answer to this question is that absence of condemnation has little significance. Firstly, it may point to the fact that human sacrifice was in fact current in Jephthah's day. Secondly, even if this is not the case, there are other heroes in the Bible whose errant behavior is not condemned. But if, as is generally agreed, the stories of Jephthah fit into the redactional framework of the Deuteronomist, then one would expect unlawful acts to be somehow condemned, either overtly or obliquely, in accord with the didactic outlook of the Deuteronomistic school. It will be recalled that the narrator castigated Gideon for a much lesser crime with the Ephod (Judges 8:27). Absence of condemnation is therefore significant in judging a character's action. Jephthah is not only not condemned but referred to by the same Deuteronomist as a "savior of Israel," which is hardly an appellation to be applied to one guilty of such a crime.

  
The proponents of the sacrificial point of view believe that Jephthah's act is to be considered an example, like that of Mesha and his son, of human sacrifice offered up in an emergency. To offset the objection that such a vow and execution would have been against the law, some proponents maintain that a vow to offer human sacrifice was not against the law, and if it was, Jephthah was unaware of it. A possible reason offered for Jephthah's ignorance of the law is that he had lived outside Israel and was subject to foreign influences. The absence of condemnation of Jephthah by the narrator is pointed to by non-sacrificialists as proof that the vow and its fulfillment were not contrary to the laws of Yahweh in Jephthah's time. The sacrificialists, on the other hand, point to the absence of condemnation as proof that human sacrifice was acceptable in Jephthah's time. ³

   While Bible scholars have come up with a sacrificialist vs. a non-sacrificialist explanation for why Jephthah is not condemned, the fact still remains that vows do have consequences.  We should also keep in mind that the name “Jephthah” means “he opens”.  Was this name given to him because he opened his mouth before thinking?  

   There is even speculation on the part of some people that Jephthah may have offered God an animal as a substitute sacrifice in order to spare his daughter’s life.  This would have been acceptable in Israel as long as Jephthah had said, “Now I offer this animal in place of my daughter”; however, the text gives no indication of any such substitution. 

   This story has intrigued and confounded people for many years.  I invite you to read the story for yourself and draw your own conclusions.  This story was added to the canon of Scripture for a reason.  What was the reason for making reference to Jephthah’s vow and the sacrifice of his only child?

                                 

                                                  End Notes

1-3) “Jephthah’s Daughter”

http://www.womeninthebible.net/1.9.Jephtahs_daughter.htm#THE CONSEQUENCES OF THE VOW

Relying Upon our Own Strength

   My first day of class in Theology I at the University of Scranton, the professor asked us to take out a piece of paper, number it 1 to 10, and then he proceeded to ask us a series of questions to see how much we knew about the Bible. One of those questions was, “Name the strong man in the Bible”.

    After finishing this quiz, the professor went over our answers in class.  The majority of the class answered “Hercules” to the question of who is the strong man in the Bible.  As a result of the quiz, the professor knew that most of the students had little to no familiarity with the Bible at all.

    The correction answer, of course, is Samson.  His story appears in the Book of Judges 13:1-17:31 and provides us with some insight regarding what transpires when we rely upon our own strength instead of turning to God.

    There was a certain man named Manoah in the city of Zorah, from the tribe of Dan, whose wife had borne him no children.  An angel of the Lord appears to his wife and said that even though she had not borne any children, but was barren, she would conceive and bear a son.  She was told not to drink wine or strong drink or eat anything unclean.  No razor should ever touch her son’s head for the boy shall be a nazarite (one who is consecrated to God from birth).  At this time the Jewish people were being controlled by the Philistines and the angel said to the woman that her son would begin to deliver Israel from their hands.  

   Not surprisingly, she had no idea what to make of this encounter, so she told her husband about it.  Manoah begged the Lord to send this man to them again. The angel returned to speak to her and then spoke to Manoah as well.  When Manoah asked the angel about the boy, the angel repeated all that he had said to Manoah’s wife.  Manoah wanted to feed the angel, but was told that he should provide an offering to God. Manoah took a lamb and a grain offering and offered it to God.  As the flame from the offering went up to the heavens, Manoah and his wife watched as the angel ascended into the flame.  Then they both realized that they had been speaking to an angel of God.  All that the angel had said finally came true.  Manoah’s wife did give birth to a son, whom they named Samson.

    Samson grew up and decided to choose a wife for himself.  Instead of choosing from among the woman of the tribe of Dan, which was the custom, Samson travelled to Timnah where he met a Philistine woman named Timnah, and it was her that he wished to marry.  His parents were not pleased by his desire to marry a Philistine woman, given the harsh treatment they had received at the hands of the Philistines; however, they did not know that God had allowed this union as a pretext for acting against the Philistines.

    Samson returned to Timnah with his parents.  While he was in the vineyards of Timnah, a young lion roared at him.  The spirit of Lord rushed on Samson and he killed the lion.  He ripped the lion to pieces in the same way another man might rip a young goat to pieces, but he did not tell anyone. (Judges 14:6)  He then went down to Timnah to meet the young woman and promised to return again for the marriage feast.  He did return and saw the carcass of the lion filled with a swarm of bees.  He removed some of the honey from the carcass and gave some to his parents, but did not tell them that he had taken it from the carcass. 

    When the people saw him at the marriage feast, they brought thirty companions to be with him.  Samson said to them, “Let me now put a riddle to you.  If you can explain it to me within the seven days of the feast, and find it out, then I will give you thirty linen garments and thirty festal garments.  But if you cannot explain it to me, then you shall give me thirty linen garments and thirty festal garments.” So they said to him, “What is your riddle; let us hear it?”

    Samson said,

Out of the eater came something to eat. Out of the strong came something sweet.

   For three days they could not explain the riddle.  On the fourth day, they approached Timnah and asked her to coax her husband into telling her what the riddle means or they would burn down her house with fire. 

    Timnah begged and pleaded with Samson to tell her the meaning of the riddle, but initially he would not.  After much nagging, Samson finally told her the meaning on the seventh day and she went out and told the men of the town.

  Before the sun went down on the seventh day, the men came to Samson and said, “What is sweeter than honey? What is stronger than a lion?”  He said to them, “If you had not plowed my heifer, you would not have found out my riddle.” (Judges 14:18)  Describing his wife as a heifer is certainly not a term of endearment; however, Samson was angry because now he owed these men thirty linen garments and thirty festal garments which they would never have received had she not told them the answer to the riddle.  In fact, he was so angry that he returned to his father’s house and his wife was given to another man.

   After a while Samson’s anger toward his wife subsided.  At the time of the wheat harvest he returned to see his wife and brought with him a young goat. Her father would not let Samson see her.  He said, “I was sure that you had rejected her, so I gave her to your companion.”   They have their first marital argument and her father gives her to another man.  Ladies, could you imagine what the divorce rate would be today if every time you had an argument with your husband your father kept giving you to another man so each time you had an argument with a new man he would then give you to someone else?  Then, her father offers Samson Timnah’s younger sister since he had already given Timnah to this other man.

   Needless to say, Samson was not pleased.  He went out and caught three hundred foxes. He tied the foxes together by their tails and put a lit torch between their tails.  Then he let the foxes go in the fields.  The torches burned up all the grain as well as the vineyards and the olive groves.  That certainly got their attention!  When they found out that it was Samson who had done this he said, “If this is what you do, I swear I will not stop until I have taken revenge on you.” He struck them down hip and thigh with great slaughter; and he went down and stayed in the cleft of the rock of Etam. (Judges 15:8)

   The Philistines were not simply going to let this incident go without responding.  They went to the town of Lehi looking for Samson.  The men of Judah asked, “Why have you come up against us?”  They said, “We have come here looking for Samson, so we can do to him as he has done to us.”  Then three thousand men of Judah went down to the cleft of the rock of Etam, and said to Samson, “Do you not know that the Philistines are rulers of us?” He said, “As they have done to me, so I have done to them.”  They said, “We have come to bind you so that we may give you into the hands of the Philistines.”  Samson wanted assurance from them that they would not harm him.  The men of Judah assured Samson that they would neither harm nor kill him, so he allowed them to bind him with two new ropes and bring him up from the rock.

    When the men arrived in Lehi with Samson, the Philistines came shouting to meet them.  The spirit of the Lord rushed on him and the rope became like burnt flax as his bonds melted away.  Then he found the fresh jawbone of a donkey, reached down and took it, and with it killed a thousand men.  One thousand of these dreaded Philistines were killed with the jawbone of an ass.  It seems quite ironic since they had attempted to make an ass out of Samson.

    After killing the Philistines, Samson sang this song:

“With the jawbone of a donkey, heaps upon heaps, with the jawbone of a donkey I have slain a thousand men”

Then Samson called out to God asking for water for he was dying of thirst.  God split open the hollow at Lehi and water rushed out.  This is the first time in the entire narrative that Samson calls out to God for anything.

  Even though it was the spirit of the Lord which rushed on Samson to give him the strength he needed to fight, there is every indication that Samson believes that he is relying upon his own power.  The Lord Jesus said to Pontius Pilate, “You would have no power at all, if it were not given to you from above” (John 19:11) and this is certainly true in Samson’s case as well.  Samson seems to enjoy toying with these people in the firm belief that he can handle any situation he is placed in.   However, this is all about to change.

    After killing the one thousand men, Samson arrives in Gaza, the capital city of the Philistines.  He had relations with a prostitute and the men of the city were waiting for him all night by the city gate to kill him.  Samson rose up at midnight, took hold of the doors of the city, pulled the posts out of the ground, and carried the doors, posts and all, to the top of the hill in front of Hebron.  

    He fell in love with a woman in the valley of Sorek whose name was Delilah. The Philistine leaders came to her saying, “Coax him to find out the source of his strength. We will bind him and give you eleven hundred pieces of silver.” Delilah said to him, “Please tell me the source of your strength, and how you can be bound, so no one can surprise you.”  He said, “If you bind me with seven fresh bowstrings that are not dried out, then I shall become like anyone else.”  She did this while the Philistines were in an inner chamber and shouted, “The Philistines are upon you, Samson!”  He snapped the bowstrings instantly, so she knew that this was not the source of his strength.

    Then she said, “You have mocked me and told me lies.  Please tell me how you could be bound.”  He said, “If they bind me with ropes which had never been used, then I shall become weak, and be like everyone else.”  So she took fresh rope and bound him while the Philistines were in an inner chamber.  She shouted, “The Philistines are upon you, Samson!”  He snapped the ropes like threads.

  Once again she said, “You have mocked me and told me lies; tell me how you could be bound.”  He said, “If you weave the seven locks of my head with the web and make it tight with the pin, then I shall become weak, and be like anyone else.”  She did as he said and shouted, “The Philistines are upon you, Samson!”  He rose up, pulled away the pin, the loom, and the web. 

   Then she said, “How can you say, ‘I love you’, when your heart is not with me?  You have mocked me three times now and have not told me what makes your strength so great.”  Finally, after she had nagged him with her words day after day, and pestered him, he was tired to death.  So he told her his whole secret, saying, “A razor has never come upon my head; for I have been a nazarite to God from my mother’s womb.  If my head were shaved, then my strength would leave me; I would become weak, and be like anyone else.”  Apparently, Samson does not like to be nagged.  He told his wife the answer to the riddle after much nagging and now he has given away the secret of his strength.

   When Delilah realized that he had told her the whole secret, she sent for the Philistine leaders. The lords came to her with the money.  While Samson was asleep, she had the men shave Samson’s head.  He began to weaken and his strength had left him.  Then she said, “The Philistines are upon you, Samson!” When he awoke he believed that he could prevail as he had earlier; however, he did not realize that his head had been shaven.  So the Philistines seized him and gouged out his eyes.  They brought him down to Gaza in shackles, and he ground at the mill in prison.  However, the hair on his head began to grow again after it had been shaved.

    The Philistine leaders had prepared a festival in honor of their god, Dagon. The leaders and the people praised Dagon for giving their enemy, Samson, into their hands.  They brought Samson out to entertain them and they put him between the pillars which were supporting the temple of Dagon.  Samson said, “Let me feel the pillars upon which the house rests; so I may lean against them.” There were about three thousand men and women present who were watching Samson perform.

    Then Samson called to the Lord and said, “Lord God, remember me and strengthen me only this once, O God, so that with this one act of revenge I may pay back the Philistines for my two eyes.”  Samson grasped the two middle pillars on which the temple rested, and he leaned his weight on the one and his left hand on the other. Then Samson said, “Let me die with the Philistines.” He strained with all his might; and the house fell on the lords and all the people who were in it.  So that those he killed at his death were more than those he had killed during his life.  Then his brothers and all his family came down and took him and brought him up and buried him between Zorah and Eshtaol in the tomb of his father Manoah.  Samson judged Israel for twenty years.

    While we might not have the strength of Samson, we all have gifts and talents which were given to us by God for His greater glory.  Samson could have chosen to become a judge like Gideon, a great warrior; however, it appears that God’s plan for Samson was that he would offer glory to God by giving his own life for his people.  How will we use the strengths God has given us to be of service to others?